I Hope You’re Happy

I Hope You’re Happy

I may have spoken in the past of Mrs. C’s tendency to be a hoarder.  If not, Mrs. C tends to be a hoarder*.  She is getting better, but still, she does have a problem letting things go.  If I threaten to toss some useless junk, her eyes gloss over and she gets a look of panic on her face.  We won’t be on that horrible hoarder TV show, but it is an issue.

The other day I was cleaning up some papers, tearing them up as they had some potentially sensitive numbers and information on them.  One page had no sensitive information on it and as I was about to tear it up, Mrs. C stopped me.

“I can use the blank side if I need to print something.”

“Oh please, that’s ridiculous, it’s a piece of paper, let me toss it.”

“It is a good piece of paper!”

This was not a battle worth fighting.

Fast forward a couple of days. 

We have a humidifier in our bedroom.  (We have forced hot air heating, and if you do not humidify the air you get dry skin and itchy scalp.) The humidifier broke down and we purchased an identical unit.  Mrs. C left the old unit for me to toss…sans the big globe that holds the water.

“Where is the water holding globe?”

“…”

“Kare?”

“I’m not ready to throw it away yet.”

“Why the hell not?”

“In case the new plastic globe breaks.”

“You’re kidding!”

“Just leave it alone, I’ll take care of it.”

This was another battle not worth fighting; but I was annoyed that this globe that we would never use will take up space somewhere.  As I was fuming to myself, I saw the stupid piece of paper she did not want to throw away on top of a pile of similar stupid papers.

That’s right; I ripped it up and threw it away.

That night when Mrs. C came home from work she gave me that look.

“I hope your happy!”

I was pretty sure where this was going, but sometimes a wife will trick you.  Kind of like when a cop asks, “Do you know why I stopped you?”

I Played dumb, not wanting to admit to something she was not trying to have me confess.

“What are you talking about.”

“You threw away that piece of paper to spite me didn’t you!”

Damn, a borderline hoarder and a detective as well!!

“Maybe.”

“I hope you’re happy!”

I don’t know what or when, but there will be payback, and payback will be a bitch.

*Due to some comments I feel it necessary to reiterate, my wife is not an actual hoarder, we both just have very different ideas on the value of some objects.